trees are people too

Chanced upon the most timely of documentaries last night. Virtual adultery and Cyberspace Love is part of a documentary series called Wonderland created by BBC2, and this particular episode explores the real world relationships of people who meet, court, and even marry, in the virtual world of second life. The episode centres around two relationships – one successful, the other not so much, but both equally fascinating.

While the documentary provided only a superficial analysis of what are essentially incredibly complex and unprecedented relationships emerging from a new and unexplored social space, it was surprisingly heart wrenching to watch the story of Carolyn and Lee, an American couple whose lives and marriage is slowly torn apart by her addiction and ‘virtual affair’ in second life. The disturbing yet arresting story of Carolyn’s second life addiction slowly unfolds against the backdrop of her neglected home, where dishes pile in the sink, the windows are taped up to prevent light coming in and even the room has been completed painted except for the area around her computer – she clearly couldn’t spare the time from the game to relocate. In the next room play her four (presumably lonely) children, and her baffled and dismayed husband, as she quenches her 14-hours-a-day SL habit, which she explains to her kids as akin to ‘playing barbie’. See, in real life Carolyn is a pudgy, ordinary looking, depressed housewife. In SL she is a ravishing vixen brunette, with the body of a goddess and a virtual partner to match – cue Elliot, who lives in Britian, is small, also ordinary and caucasian, but in SL is a huge black man with numerous piercings, bulging pecs toting two uzi’s and a sword (why not after all).

The subplot of second life features Kiera and Dean, two relatively unattractive brits who also personify their wildest dreams through their SL avatars (as Kiera sadly says, in second life she looks like she ‘should have looked’ before her life took over, aka got really fat). These two get married in second life in front their family and friends (in realtime, of course, and there were real tears and it was real love) and spend the majority of their time together in the game. As Kiera puts it so succinctly, ‘In real life we life in a tiny house and it rains all the time. In second life we life in a huge mansion on the beach!!’ But their story is happy, having met up, married in real life and lived (virtually) ever after.

Carolyn and Elliot’s tale, on the other hand, is not so rosy. These two would often spend eight to ten hours a day together over their 10 month affair, and their complex relationship involved arguments, breakups, reconciliation, more arguments, secret rendezvous and cybersex, while real life, and her real family, continued on without her. But Carolyn is devastated when Elliot decides to end the relationship, deciding it will ‘go nowhere’ (I am not sure where he expected it to go??), and so flees her family for the UK in the hope that her and her virtual love could perhaps make it work in RL.

Needless to say, and to cut a rather tragic story short, it doesn’t, and Carolyn, is forced to confront reality again when she discovers that the virtual world doesn’t necessarily translate to RL communication and relationships. But oh! How fascinating it was to watch these people live out their complete fantasies, their utter hedonistic desires, without really understanding the ramifications to their real lives, nor, it would seem, the difference between the real and the imaginary.

The issues of SL were only lightly touched on but plentiful, with the primary being why people enter and become addicted to SL in the first place – to be someone they cannot be in RL. What was so interesting (and concerning) was the complete absorption into this virtual world, and their gradual inability to distinguish the two. While her real life decomposed around her, Carolyn could care only for herself in SL.

In an interview about WOW, a Professor studying the phenomena of virtual worlds argued that because the internet was real, so too were these virtual worlds. But if so, then this must be considered real cheating, not just some ‘game’, or virtual cheating. I know were it my partner, I would be devastated, and not just virtually, either. Regular (addicted??) players also argued that in the future, people would spend their entire lives in virtual spaces. And why not?? In a society obsessed by image, consumerism and egocentricity, SL is the answer to all your physical, financial and personal shortcomings. It’s just a shame you will have to make love to your keyboard.

Watch the doco on youtube here.